Last night after I posted my latest entry I went down to grab a bite to eat. I had planned on going to Bonanza but to my surprise they close at 9:00 pm, so much for that idea. I then pulled into Applebees, TGI Fridays, and few other places, and everywhere was packed. I guess it’s not surprising with everyone in town for the tournament. I just do not have the patience to wait in-line at these places, they hand you that beeper thing-ea-majig, and make you wait for their frozen and canned food. I don’t mind waiting for a nice meal. But let’s face it, all these chain restaurants like that have basically turned into glorified fast food joints in the last few years. Order a steak at Applebees or Friday’s once, and be prepared to eat shoe leather. Everything they serve now is all pre-prepared, frozen, shipped in, or uncanned. Even a few years ago you could get a half way decent Lobster at Red Lobster, now it’s this tiny little thing that looks like it was bread in their fish tank. So I decided to pick something up and bring it back home. I have really tried to make an effort to eat better, so as I was passing all these fast food drive-ups and I kept telling myself I’m not going to do it, I will resist. I would find a Panera Bread or even Subway or something. Then I passed a Mcdonald’s and almost got sick just thinking about eating their, so of course were did I eat, Mcdonald’s. I ordered their Asian Chicken Salad, it wasn’t great, but at-least my appetite is back. I wish my ability to sleep was however, for the life of me I just cannot get to sleep at night. I laid down around 11:30 pm, and actually felt really exhausted, but I didn’t actually end up falling asleep until around 3:00 am, I sat up watching the Barrett Jackson car auction on the Speed Channel. Maybe my body has just gotten used to 3-4 hours of sleep at night, I don’t know but it sure is taking it’s toll on me.

I woke up around 7:00 am, a good hour and half before my alarm was scheduled to go off. I thought about going down and having breakfast, I haven’t checked out what they serve here yet, but I just wasn’t hungry. So I decided to get a small list of things I needed together and head down to Walymart. First thing was some skin care issues, I finally figured out why my skin and scalp are so damn dry and flaky, it’s all these cheap complementary soaps and shampoos. They must use battery acid and salt in these things, because they dry the hell out of me. I know all the smoking lately hasn’t helped either, and I know I don’t keep myself hydrated enough. So I get to Walmart and they have this entire rack of the supplies that are all designed to be small and easy to travel with. I was like great, I don’t have much or any vanity space and these will work out perfect. Then I realized that the toothpaste would last no more than 5 days, the dove bar would maybe give me 3 showers, and the lotion no more than a week. So my thrifty mind kicked in and figured I can spend twice as much and get 20 times the product by getting the regular sized containers. I will just have to deal with the space issue. I did buy the smaller Q-tips package though, whenever I buy the large container of Q-tips all that happens is they get all over the place, and you end up finding Q-tips in every damn nook and crack in your bathroom. Also, word of advice, usually I don’t mind generic products, but never generic Q-tips, the off-brands can leave cotton your ear and cause all kinds of problems, an ear doctor told me that once. I think he might be rite.

My dry cleaning was ready around 10:00am and I had my first interview at 1:00 pm today. I have to admit I was a little nervous. When I worked as a Manager at my last job, It was my responsibility to do all the hiring, sometimes as many as 20 hires a day. I have probably conducted hundreds if not thousand of interviews. But I myself have not been interviewed since August of 1993, so it has been awhile. But I knew the do’s and dont’s, so I was prepared. The most important thing is not your clothes, or how you look, it’s making sure that you let the interviewer control the conversation, don’t appear distracted, and try and come off as someone who is willing to be flexible. I cannot tell you how many interviews I did, were the prospect was so nervous they would not let me get a word in edgewise, or kept jetting their eyes around the room like everything I said was going in one ear and out the other, or they came in expecting us to compromise to their exact schedule. So the interview was long, but went very well I think. I am not going to say which company yet, but I did have to take a number of tests, and I have a drug test on monday morning to complete the application. The hardest drug I have ever done in my life was marijuana (like you haven’t), and that was years ago, so I’m not worried about that. And that will complete their requirement process. I am hoping to have an answer by late Monday or early Tuesday. If that doesn’t work out, I have plenty more prospects on the list. By the way, Kelly was the very nice gal who interviewed me, and I must say she is fantastic at what she does. I have a good feeling about this one.

So the interview took longer than expected. I had planned on maybe checking out the new movie “21″, since I had read the book by a different title “Breaking Vegas” years ago, but my cell phone was dead and decided to just head home to charge it. I ended up taking an hour or so nap. I then finally went and got my Bonanza meal, not as good as I remember, but not horrible, and certainly affordable. Tonight I’m going to just relax, hang out, and stay in. My room was turned over when I got back, and I cannot tell you how nice it is to just leave everyday, and your home has been completely cleaned for you when you return. Even that little toothpaste residue that you always forget to clean from the bottom of your sink, lol, it’s nice.

My wife has called and left a few messages, I wish I had good news on that front. It looks like this is going to turn pretty bitter. Things could go so much easier for both of us if we could just come to terms and work together. It would be so much better for the health of the kid’s, and us if we could unite and handle some of these issues hand in hand, and set our personal feelings aside. I am really heart broken over the whole thing, and just have no idea how things will play out. But no matter what, I will be here for them, and I hope they know they can turn to me for anything. I am here for all of them. I still call everyday, as I promised I would. I miss them so much. I hope it all works out. And I am really proud of myself for the fact that, I have learned somethings recently that a couple of weeks ago would really have effected me, devastated me in-fact, but I am just so close to getting my peace, and my sanity back, I barely gave it a second thought. I truly am over it all, and I see glimpses of change in myself everyday. And I just have to hold on to the fact that everything will work out in the end. Have a safe weekend all…

“Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.“
- Flower A. Newhouse